Hey friends! I have got more fun for all of you there.....A package full of merriment in the form of these funny jokes that are surely going to add spice to the celebration with guests rolling in laughter :)

• Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantle piece?" "No," said himself, "but I'm gettin' closer all the time."
• Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
A. A bachelor.
• Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning I can't break her of it...
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time? Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home.
• Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!"
He said. "Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!"
"Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked. "No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'."
• "O'Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife's appearance?" "It did surely," replied O'Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!"
• Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?
• My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs?
• On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, who obviously knows nothing about golf and completely unaware of Tiger's identity, greets him in a typical Irish manner:

"Top of the mornin' to ya, sir," says the attendant. Tiger, who is familiar with Irish custom, responds with, "And the rest of the day to you!" He gives a quick nod and bends forward to pick up the nozzle of the gasoline hose. As he does, two golf tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger. "And what on the good earth are they for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger. "Feckin Jaysus," says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!"

Labels: More Irish Jokes for St. Patrick's Day Celebration

• Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.

• Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.

• The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they're always assured of having a worthy opponent.

• An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question? "Who told you that?" asked Paddy.

• Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple?
  Answer - So the English can understand them.

• Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty."
  "That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"

• Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?"
  Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."

Labels: St. Patrick's day Irish Jokes